In Defense of a Large Family

When I tell others that I have five children, I am greeted with differing responses. I often get "Boy, you are busy" or "I bet there's never a dull moment in your house." Yes, and yes. But the responses can also be confusing. Such as "You don't look like you've had 5 kids." Is this supposed to be a compliment? What should I look like? No, I haven't gained five pounds with each pregnancy. I still weigh my pre-pregnancy weight thanks to an autoimmune disease that flares up after each child. I feel pretty frazzled, I guess I should be happy that I don't look it.
The most annoying, and may I say rude, comments have to do with our contraception choices. Remarks that range from "You need a color TV/cable in your bedroom" to "Are you going to get this problem fixed?" and "You know how this works, don't you?" just seem to be intrusive. Since when is it anyone's business how many children we have and how we make that decision? Our society celebrates control and power. The easiest way to have this over the physical body is through contraception, the most extreme being sterilization surgeries. I won't be altering the body God gave me. The family that has their two children, one boy and one girl, is the most celebrated of all. I was asked if I was going to stop having children after Joy was born, my fourth, because "Now you have your girl." I wasn't going for a girl! And I've had another one since.
Why aren't large families celebrated more? Because society thinks it somehow reflects a lack of control and/or chaos. I do admit that my home reflects a certain amount of chaos. Seven people and a dog can create that pretty easily. But I love my children individually and as a group. They each bring a different element to the dynamics of our house. They remind me of my strengths and faults all at the same time. They are my teachers as much as my children. Before children, I was much more selfish and self-centered and honestly didn't appreciate the little things like I should have. So, I am often puzzled at peoples' comments and thought processes. My children are a blessing, not a financial burden. Children are a gift from God. The Psalms say you are blessed if you have a quiver full of them. Besides, I'm not doing anything deviant here. I had my first after I was married, not out of wedlock. And I've had all of them with my own husband!
So how would I like people to respond? Well, just like my dental hygenist. She seemed so happy for me. I could tell that she was enjoying being a mom herself to a little boy and even found a way to ask me if I was going to have more in a friendly, kind manner instead of disdain. A large family may not be for you, but please try to be happy for me.

Gotta Love Your Neighbor!

I was greeted this morning by a police officer at my door. It appears someone called in a complaint about our dog barking. Yes, Toby barks. He feels any person or dog within eye-shot is either posing a threat or wants to play. Honestly, I bet his barking bothers me more than anyone else. Jeff made a comment about a childhood friend of his getting anonymous letters about her dog and what a cowardly way of confronting someone that is. This got me thinking. Why didn't he, I think I know who it is, just talk to us instead? Are we that unapproachable? Or is he stuck in 7th grade antics?
So how would God have us handle this? He clearly wants us to live in harmony with others. To "love our neighbor" as Jesus talks about in Luke 10:27 summarizes the last 6 commandments and is second only to loving God. Do we achieve this by bad mouthing our neighbors or calling the police? I don't think so. There is a place for calling the police - when someone's safety is in jeopardy. However, Toby would only lick you to death! I've decided to take God's advice. We are working on training Toby to be quieter and I will try to repair this relationship if I find out who it is. Also, there's a neighbor with a new pool without a fence - I think I need to go talk TO him instead of ABOUT him.

Make me!

Good Friday started like any normal day for me. I didn't have to work, so I busied myself with the usual - getting breakfast for the kids and then sitting down to pay some bills. I have a small calendar in the kitchen windowsill that has a verse or prayer for each day. As I flipped it that morning I read, "Cause me to hear Your loving kindness in the morning, For in You do I trust." Psalm 143:8

Boy, was in store for some "cause" that morning! Before noon came I had spent a half an hour in intense pain and two and a half hours in the ER getting IV pain meds and fluids, a spiral ct scan, urinalysis, and blood work. When it was all said and done the Dr. found a 5mm kidney stone resting above my bladder. Thankfully, I passed the stone Saturday morning so my discomfort was only a day or so (although I had been having some symptoms for the 4 days prior).

So what is the "cause" in all of this? Obviously, I saw God's loving kindness in the quick resolution of my pain. But it was not only the physical aspects that astounded me. He again reminded me that he has put people in my life and on my path to bless me. I have a wonderful husband who was home in minutes to help me care for our three youngest children - something you can't do while doubled over in pain. I had my wonderful father-in-law and then my mother-in-law come over to watch the kids while I was in the ER. And, finally the ER staff and Dr. were kind and quick.

On a Good Friday, when we focus on Christ's suffering and death, I was preoccupied with my own suffering. But even in this, God caused me to hear his loving kindness in the morning, for in Him do I trust.

The Grass is Green!

"Hey Mama! I can see the grass," my son, Josh, exclaimed this afternoon. Wow, I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever see it again. It's nice to know that the kids are looking forward to the return of the grass as well. I'm holding on to the mental image of my daffodils, crocuses and grape hyacinths popping up in just a few weeks. It will make the long cold winter (and the hours I spent planting them last fall) seem bearable. Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time for everything. This winter is necessary for the spring flowers to be beautiful. I hope you have something to look forward to this spring as well.

No, not a Snow Day!

A snow day is the single most horrific way of torturing a mom of 5. Even though I don't have to make lunches, get the kids off to school and pick them up afterwards, I still dislike snow days. Gone are the days of my youth when a snow day meant the blissful management of my own schedule that could include movies, reading, and making snowmen. No, in my adult mom years, it means more work. Instead I have three neighbor kids over, yes that makes 8! Toby, the dog, is covered in two inch snowballs stuck to his fur leaving a wet mess everywhere. I have to make a more elaborate lunch. And I have to practically scream "hush" for everyone to be quiet enough for Hope to take her naps. On top of these irritating situations, I had to take Joy to the Dr. this morning - she has sinus and ear infections. Needless to say, the girls of the house are feeling invaded by the boys. Luckily for us, it's just a snow day, not summer, and they will be back tomorrow.

Church or Country Club?

I am often amazed at the expectations that people have of their local church. I was recently reading in Acts 2 a description of the early church or "fellowship of believers" as my Bible titles this section. The description is of the believers devoting themselves to their leaders' teachings, fellowship, breaking bread, and prayer. They sold their possessions and "gave to anyone as he had need." (vv. 45) The benefit of all this is that they enjoyed the "favor of all people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." (v. 47) Is this what you expect of your church?

Too often church has become like a country club. Let me explain. You prepare for service on Sunday morning by showering and primping so that you will look and smell good for your fellow parishioners. You arrive, look for a good seat and sit back and enjoy the show. You "pay" your offering with the expectation that certain services will be provided (ie. "good" sermon, music you like, children's programs, refreshments, visit from the pastor). You chat in the lobby after service, critiquing the worship or message and then leave. It is no different than a country club membership that is purchased with certain expectations. Acts paints a much more vibrant picture of church life for the believer. It is one of community, growth, and service. While we all naturally have needs and expectations, demanding that they be met is often not the best way to get results. If we focus on personal growth and serving others, God blesses our efforts and our needs are met. So which one do you participate in - country club or church?