In Defense of a Large Family

When I tell others that I have five children, I am greeted with differing responses. I often get "Boy, you are busy" or "I bet there's never a dull moment in your house." Yes, and yes. But the responses can also be confusing. Such as "You don't look like you've had 5 kids." Is this supposed to be a compliment? What should I look like? No, I haven't gained five pounds with each pregnancy. I still weigh my pre-pregnancy weight thanks to an autoimmune disease that flares up after each child. I feel pretty frazzled, I guess I should be happy that I don't look it.
The most annoying, and may I say rude, comments have to do with our contraception choices. Remarks that range from "You need a color TV/cable in your bedroom" to "Are you going to get this problem fixed?" and "You know how this works, don't you?" just seem to be intrusive. Since when is it anyone's business how many children we have and how we make that decision? Our society celebrates control and power. The easiest way to have this over the physical body is through contraception, the most extreme being sterilization surgeries. I won't be altering the body God gave me. The family that has their two children, one boy and one girl, is the most celebrated of all. I was asked if I was going to stop having children after Joy was born, my fourth, because "Now you have your girl." I wasn't going for a girl! And I've had another one since.
Why aren't large families celebrated more? Because society thinks it somehow reflects a lack of control and/or chaos. I do admit that my home reflects a certain amount of chaos. Seven people and a dog can create that pretty easily. But I love my children individually and as a group. They each bring a different element to the dynamics of our house. They remind me of my strengths and faults all at the same time. They are my teachers as much as my children. Before children, I was much more selfish and self-centered and honestly didn't appreciate the little things like I should have. So, I am often puzzled at peoples' comments and thought processes. My children are a blessing, not a financial burden. Children are a gift from God. The Psalms say you are blessed if you have a quiver full of them. Besides, I'm not doing anything deviant here. I had my first after I was married, not out of wedlock. And I've had all of them with my own husband!
So how would I like people to respond? Well, just like my dental hygenist. She seemed so happy for me. I could tell that she was enjoying being a mom herself to a little boy and even found a way to ask me if I was going to have more in a friendly, kind manner instead of disdain. A large family may not be for you, but please try to be happy for me.